How to write an obituary

Seven steps, in the order the paragraphs go. Write the long version first; cutting is easier than adding.

1. Start with the facts

Full name (and nickname, and maiden name), age, town, date of death, and, if the family wants, where and how. This is the first sentence, and it is the sentence newspapers and search engines use.

2. Tell the life in order

Born when and where, to whom. School. Marriage. Work. Moves. Retirement. Approximate years are fine; skip anything nobody would care to know.

3. Give one paragraph of specifics

What they cooked, grew, fixed, watched, collected, said. Two or three concrete things beat a list of virtues. "She was kind" is forgettable; "she never let anyone leave without leftovers" is her.

4. List survivors, then the preceded

Spouse; children with spouses in parentheses and their towns; grandchildren by name if there are fewer than about ten, by count if more; siblings. Then "preceded in death by". Ask the family who must be named; this is where feelings get hurt.

5. Service details, checked

Visitation and service with day, date, time, venue, and address. Confirm with the funeral home before publishing; corrections cost money and confusion.

6. Memorials

"In lieu of flowers" is optional. Name the charity exactly as it is registered so donations reach it.

7. Length

300 to 500 words for a full obituary online or in a funeral home listing; 60 to 120 for a paid newspaper notice. Write the long one first and cut.

Before you publish

• Read every name aloud to someone in the family.
• Confirm service times with the funeral home.
• Check the charity's exact registered name.
• Ask one person outside the family to read it once for anything unclear.

Examples

• For a mother
• For a father
• For a young adult
• For a veteran
• Short newspaper version